Perfect The Way You Are
by balletismyobsession
Summary: A conversation between Santana and Brittany after Santana tells her abuelita, and before school the next day.


**This came to me after watching last night's episode. My first story with a pairing that's not Klaine, so I'm kind of out of my comfort zone here. haha Anyway, hope it's okay.**

**It was just pointed out to me that I have the timeline reversed. Oops. Oh well. I'm just going to leave it because I don't want to change it and I like it the way it is. =]**

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><p>Santana covered her mouth with her hand and let the tears fall. Her abuelita hated her. Hated who she was. No, she hated who Santana <em>really <em>was. She needed to talk to someone. She hated being weak, feeling insecure and alone. There was only one person who could truly understand her.

Pushing back the chair with a bit more force than necessary, she bolted upstairs and into the room that still reeked of her childhood. Figuratively, of course. The light pink walls with the white trim, the lace curtains, the stenciled swirling design around the framed mirror applied by her grandmother's careful hand.

_A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes_

She groaned and carefully shut the door. Slamming it, no matter how much she wanted to, would only make her abuelita angry and not just disgusted like she was right now. Curling up on her bed with its stupid frilly comforter, she held her cell phone in her hand and dialed, trying to avoid seeing the phrase that she'd seen all her life whenever she went to her grandmother's house. When she was younger, she had traced the letters with her fingers, following the swirling patterns dotted with little sparkling stars. Well this wasn't just a dream that could go away. She'd known who she was for a while, but it had taken until now, when her heart fully accepted this, to feel like she could be proud and not have to hide anymore.

But all that had been destroyed in ten seconds. Her abuelita's face, her eyes, swam in Santana's mind. The hatred she'd seen there, it would never leave her. The Glee club accepted her even before she could accept herself, and even her parents were still warming up to the idea, but they hadn't practically shoved her down. But it felt like she might as well have been slapped.

She thought she was in control of her tears as she sat crossed-legged on the bed, but the moment she heard that voice, she lost it.

"Hey! I'm eating M&M's right now. But only the blue ones. What are you doing?"

She couldn't make herself say anything, only sat there trembling with the phone pressed to her ear as if she needed the pressure of the object against her skin to know that Brittany was still there. She covered her mouth with her hand and tried to slow her ragged breaths, but the concern in the voice was evident.

"Santana? What's wrong?"

She took a deep breath and made herself calm down. After a moment, she forced her hand to relax around the cell phone. "Britt?" she whispered, not able to raise her voice any higher.

"Please tell me what's wrong. You're crying. Did you get hurt?"

Did she get hurt. The words repeated bitterly in her head. _You've made your choice. Now I've made mine._ "M-my abuelita ha-hates me."

"What? No, she loves you. You talk about her all the time and-"

"I know, Britt. I know." She wanted to scream. But it wasn't Brittany's fault that she didn't understand. She didn't even see it coming herself. And she was so tired. "I told her. I told her I love you and she hates me."

"She just doesn't understand." Brittany's voice was soft and calming. Santana wished she could be with her. She needed a hug so badly, she thought she might just get swallowed up by the earth without a friend to hold her together. No, more than a friend. She needed Brittany. "Do you want me to try and talk to her?"

It was a sweet offer. But it wouldn't make a difference. "No, Britt. She's made her choice."

Santana sounded so defeated, so lonely, so lost. She had never let anyone see that side of her. She had put up walls for a reason. As soon as she felt comfortable to start tearing those walls down, they were thrown back up again. But it was different with Brittany. She would understand.

Brittany's quiet voice was in her ear again. "You're not worthless, you know."

"I can't do anything right," she whispered, the tears threatening again.

"Santana, you are the best person I know. Inside and out. You just need to show who you are and other people won't care. So what if they know you're a lesbian? I think you're perfect just the way you are. And everyone who has something to say about it just don't care enough to get to know the real you. And those people shouldn't be your friend anyway."

She sniffed and felt a smile twitch at the corner of her lip, the confidence returning. "I am the hottest piece of action at that school."

"That's right." Santana heard the smile in her voice.

"I'm just tired of trying to hide who I am. And the way I feel about you. But my abuelita-"

"Don't think about her now. She'll realize that whatever she said to you was awful because it made you upset and she'll know that you deserve better. If she loves you, and I know she does, she'll come around." Then Brittany was silent for a while. "And I still think you're perfect."

Santana smiled, the anger ebbing away. "Thank you, Brittany."

"You know, we still haven't done our assignment for the week."

She wasn't sure where Brittany was going with this but from the slightly higher pitch of her voice, it sounded like she had an idea. "What are you thinking of?" she asked cautiously.

"We can all sing together. All the girls. Remember how Kurt said it was hard for him to come out? Well… maybe if we all sang together it would be easier?"

Santana let the idea run through her head. Sing in front of everyone? According to Finn, the entire school already knows and thanks to that ad, the entire city knows. But she hadn't said anything except to her family. Maybe doing this would help. She could publicly announce that she was just fine with being a lesbian and at the same time, shoot down the people who thought of her differently and tell them that she was still the same person, not matter what her sexual orientation was. She could come out and finally not feel afraid every time someone looked at her the way they did in the halls. She could have a chance at finally being happy.

"Santana?"

"Hm?" she jolted back to the conversation. "Yeah. Yes. I want to. Sing, I mean. What did you have in mind?"

"Katy Perry. I Kissed a Girl."

A laugh fell from her lips. She wiped the remaining tears from her eyes and stared into her reflection. Screw the stupid saying above the mirror. This was what her heart wanted. And whether her abuelita came around in a few hours or a few years, she needed to do this so that she could be happy. She damn well deserved to be happy. If Kurt could come out and find love and be happy, she could too. Well, she'd already found one of those. Now to work on the other two… She could do this. "That sounds good."


End file.
